ADHD in Women and Girls: Making the Invisible Visible at Helping Humans Thrive

At Helping Humans Thrive, we are aware that many women and girls, diagnosed or undiagnosed with ADHD have spent years feeling misunderstood, unseen and unheard. They have masked their struggles, been misdiagnosed or dismissed completely. This is not due to a lack of symptoms, but because their symptoms fail to fit the mould that the psychological field and society traditionally recognised.

We are failing women and girls with ADHD – But Why?

For decades, research and the ADHD diagnostic criteria have focused on male presentations, the outwardly disruptive, hyperactive, and easy to notice symptoms. Consequently, female expressions of ADHD, often characterised by emotional sensitivity (feeling things deeply), inattention, perfectionism, overwhelm and internalised shame (believing that something is wrong with you), have gone unrecognised, or been misdiagnosed as anxiety, hormonal changes or depression.

This gap is not only theoretical, it has real consequences. Girls and women with undiagnosed or untreated ADHD face:

• Higher rates of self-harm and suicidal thoughts

• Increased risk of trauma and intimate partner violence

• Academic and career struggles

• Increased occurrence of unplanned pregnancies

• Self-doubt and low self-worth

The cost of Being Overlooked

Imagine trying to keep everything together – work, school, hobbies, relationships – while battling constant forgetfulness, time blindness, emotional outbursts, overwhelm and self-criticism. Now imagine being told it is just ‘stress’, ‘hormones’, or ‘not trying hard enough’. This is the lived experience of many women with ADHD. As they are more likely to internalise their struggles (keeping their big feelings inside without an outward display of the feelings), girls and women often go undiagnosed until adulthood, after many years of overcompensating (trying extra hard to hide one’s struggles), burning out, having ineffective coping mechanisms, or seeking help for diagnoses such as anxiety or depression that are not the primary concern.

Sadly, traditional ADHD screening tools are also not designed to detect these ‘quiet’ symptoms, especially not within a high-functioning, perfectionistic individual.

We do things different at Helping Humans Thrive

We believe that ADHD in girls and women deserves to be seen through a new lens – one that accounts for complicated feelings, lived experience and the impact of gendered expectations. Here is how we make women and girls with ADHD feel validated, supported and seen.

1. We listen for the quiet signs
   We do not wait for the “typical” hyperactivity to show up. We ask deep questions about executive functioning (brain boss skills), emotion regulation, self-worth and life transitions. ADHD may not look like restlessness, but may show up as chronic people-pleasing, shame spirals or unexplained fatigue.

2. We use trauma-informed, gender-sensitive assessments
   Our clinicians approach each individual with an understanding of how trauma, gender roles and masking behaviour shape the presentation of ADHD. We take care to differentiate between overlapping symptoms, as ADHD and anxiety can co-exist, not cancel each other out

3. We hold space for complex realities
   Women with ADHD may experience significant relationship and parenting challenges, in addition to challenges stemming from life changes such as puberty, motherhood and menopause. These milestones can amplify symptoms that are hidden. We welcome and honour these complexities.

4. We help clients safely unmask
   Many of our female clients have spent time ‘performing’ competence while struggling internally. Our role is to help them unmask, understand their patterns, and rebuild a self-concept rooted in truth and self-compassion. Not shame or guilt.

5. We collaborate with clients to build strength-based support
   Diagnosis is not a label; it is a doorway. When we acknowledge ADHD, we can create practical, empowering support plans.

Looking Ahead: Rewriting the Narrative

It is time we stop asking women with ADHD to change who they are. It is time we start changing the systems that overlooked them. If you are a female who resonates with these experiences, know that you are not “too sensitive”, “lazy” or “broken”. You may be carrying an invisible load that is not your fault, and you do not have to carry this load alone.

At Helping Humans Thrive, we are committed to:

• Advocating for research that reflects female ADHD experiences

• Developing clinician awareness around gendered biases in diagnosis

• Empowering women and girls to recognise their worth, even if the world has not reflected it back

We see you. We believe in you. And we are here to help.

Let’s thrive – together.

Book a session to learn more about ADHD support at Helping Humans Thrive (contact us here).